Social Conversational Boundaries VS "Hobby" Boundaries

February 28, 2018

 

I meet quite a few first-timers and inexperienced gentlemen who naturally do not automatically understand that there's a difference between what are acceptable topics and questions in a "normal" social setting versus chatting in this realm.  

 

When someone asks me things which I consider to be private, I usually brush it off with a light reply, perhaps even a laugh, and will continue on with the conversation without answering.  Occasionally, however, someone will pursue the question, which can lead to awkwardness. 

 

An example of a getting-to-know-you chat with someone I just met in public:  Do you have kids?  Oh, they're in college?  What schools?  

In a "normal" setting, this is totally fine.   But with a client?  I'm sorry but no, it is not alright to ask me what schools my children attend.  

Why not?  Because you can use that information to find them via social media, which will quickly lead you to MY real identity.   

I'm sure 99% of you out there would not even think of doing this.... but unfortunately, it's that other 1% which causes me worry.  

 

 

 

 

 

Now here's an example of the reverse: so how old were you when you had your first sexual experience?  

Can you tell me about it? 

While this definitely could be considered "too personal" I do not find it to be crossing the line in the context we are meeting.   But from some random person at Starbucks?   Definitely not okay lol.  

 

Please bear in mind that I'm speaking only for myself.  I'm certain there are plenty of providers who don't want you to ask them that.  I'm equally certain there are quite a few who let it all hang out, and will absolutely tell you where their family members work, attend school, etc.

But from talking with many escorts over the years, I can tell you that it seems this is a common boundary which shouldn't be breached.  These details may not seem "personal" to you but because sharing them can put our private lives at risk?

 I, and others, deem them to be off-limits. 

 

 

I once met someone who was nowhere near a newbie, but still did not understand my desire to keep such things private.  Here's how that went....

Him: Oh, your son's in college?  What school? 

Me: A small private school, you wouldn't have heard of it.

Him: Where is it?

Me: I tell him the state but nothing else

Him: I used to live there! Which school?

Me: It's a tiny school; seriously, you wouldn't have heard of it.... (here I attempted to change the subject)

Him:  But what's the NAME of the school??

Me: I'm sorry but I'm not comfortable sharing that.

Him: (he was clearly offended & physically pulled away)  Sorrrrry! I was just making conversation!

 

Sigh.....   as you might imagine, our interaction after that felt a bit stilted.

 

Please try to take the hint: if you ask a provider something you think is innocent getting-to-know-you convo but she doesn't answer?  Move on!   

 

This can be anything from what town she lives in (guess what?  even when we answer, we often LIE to protect our privacy!) & whether or not she's dating someone to where she attended college or high school or what kind of vehicle she drives.  

But once you're warmed up to one another a bit, you can usually feel free to talk about sexual & physical things that are NOT to be discussed at your typical networking event.

So you see, there's a POSITIVE side here!

 

Where were you born?  Maybe not okay with that provider but usually fine in a social setting.

 

Do you squirt? I wouldn't ask this with someone you just met at a wine tasting but with me, behind closed doors?  Totally OK!  (I don't, by the way lol)

 

 

Please feel free to ask me any questions on this topic either here or via Twitter!  

I'm not the Miss Manners of Escorting but what I don't know, I'm not afraid to ask of others!!!  

 

 

 

 

 

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