What do you mean, "What do you mean?"

December 30, 2016

For all my friends both present and future, 

 

This is how I internally respond to potential clients who, when informed of my hours or policies, then ask me "What do you mean?" 

 

Why?  Because that just sounds silly to me.  

Examples: "What do you mean, you need my real name?"

"What do you mean, you're not available at night?"

"What do you mean, you won't give me a simple yes or no?"

 

Yeah, what do you mean, what do I mean?  I mean I won't see you without knowing your real name.  I mean I'm only available during the daytime and I won't discuss certain things.  I'm sorry but: Duh!  

 

Yes, I know such questions aren't really asking me what I "mean" they're actually challenging what I've just told them.  

But why do that? Do you really think this will get you what you want?  

The responses sound so much to me like "But, but , but.....!"  and further complaints & protestations that are really nothing more than whining.  That is neither attractive nor a tactic that will work on any seasoned mom. LOL.  I'll still usually answer pleasantly enough, but you should also be prepared for a healthy dose of sarcasm in my response.

 

"You're touring and you're there in in your hotel room anyway so why can't I see you at night?"  

Because I'm a Morning Person!  That's just the way I am and I don't need to be any different or apologize for it.  Dates which run past 8:00pm could mean I'm falling asleep on you or at the very least, not at 100%. 

Yes, I might answer email as late as 10:00pm but that doesn't mean I have the energy to do anything more than that.  Once the clock strikes 8:00pm, all I want to do is get in my PJs, read & relax until I fall asleep.  

 

"Why no outcalls?"  Because they make me anxious.  

I am much more comfortable, and fun to be around from the first moment, when you come to me.  Even if we've already met, I dislike going to you because it makes me nervous.  

I can't explain why that is, but I know it to be true.  

 

"Is it $xxx for 1 hour?"   I won't answer that! Don't ask me questions that involve a $ amount.  There are more discreet ways to ask that question, such as "Is what is posted on your Compensation page accurate?" or "Does booking now mean I give you the Short Notice or Advance Notice donation?"  

 

If you are asking anything regarding activities or services, be happy if you receive any response at all.  

We spend the arranged amount of time together and that's it.  I will not discuss what may or may not transpire during that time in any way, shape or fashion.  You need those questions answered?  

Then I'm not the provider for you.

 

"I have lots of great references which should suffice.  Many ladies who ask for real-world info have let me slide on that.... why won't you?"  

Well, not to put too fine a point on it, but I don't have to compromise on that requirement (or any others I have) to be successful in this business.  

Think about it:  if I were hurting for clients, I likely would have to rethink some of my policies, no?   So the fact that this one is in place now, and I keep going, should tell you there are enough potential clients out there who ARE willing to provide me with this that I don't need to compromise.  

 

Honestly, this goes for everything regarding how (and why!) I do what I do.  I offer what I offer because that's what works for me; I don't do certain things because I don't want to do them and thankfully, I don't have to do things I don't want to do to stay in business.  

 

So when someone writes to me, "But lots of providers will do ______________ (fill in the blank)!" 

 

Great!!! Go see THEM

 

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