Hello my freaky darlings!
Yes, I am back. I took the winter off, but Spring is here now! And with it..... me. ;-)
To everyone who did not receive a reply while I was hibernating: my most sincere apologies! I'll be slowly responding to many of my unanswered emails.... however, some of them got lost and others might not require a reply. ;-)
Actually, during my time off I wrote a post on TER regarding the usual causes for not answering.
I'll include that at the end.
I try to be an active member of this world's online community. Sometimes it gets overwhelming, but it's important to me to give of myself to both other providers and hobbyists alike.
No, it's not always about "promoting" or marketing myself lol. If it were, don't you think I'd adopt a nicer tone? Try to always post what potential clients want to hear?
I don't do those things; I'm honest and realistic. I won't tell anyone that it's okay to behave a certain way if I don't feel it is.
Sure, some think that if I truly wasn't posting as a means of advertising that I'd use an alias. That I'd post incognito, thereby proving that I'm not actually attempting to put my name out there, draw more visitors to my site, whatever.
But here's the thing: I feel my words and advice carry more weight because I'm not posting anonymously. I'm owning my opinions, not just running my mouth off without running the risk of alienating potential clients.
Not that there's anything wrong with ladies using an alias!
I tried it briefly but I'm just not able to keep the two identities separate lol.
As long as we're on the subject (lol) I'd like to mention that I truly do see a need for ladies to be able to write whatever they want without fear of financial repercussions. Because when I post under my working name, that can definitely happen. I've been told that "guys don't want to hear that" about any number of opinions I've shared.
Or that some things should be kept to the "Providers Only" board.
Yeah, that's just not me. I'm not about to only write things that will entice men to book with me. Not going to play "Miss Sugar-and-Spice-and-Everything-Nice" because that's just plain unrealistic. And it's not me.
I'm a real person, not just an animated sex doll.
Oh! Did you see the movie AI~Artificial Intelligence? Goodness, the thought of having robots/androids as sex workers is simultaneously creepy and HOT.
Not that Jude Law really did it for me, but the concept of a "Gigolo Joe" is beyond intriquing. ;-)
Back to being treated like an object: as I mentioned in an earlier blog, I typically encounter that far less frequently in the P4P world than in civvie encounters.
Awhile back, I was involved in the swinger or "lifestyle" scene. The male halves of couples were more prone to offensive behavior than the single guys, who still weren't nearly as gentlemanly as my average client.
You see, at the typical swinger party/club/event, couples are always welcome. Single guys are frequently not allowed. So when they are included, they have to be on their best behavior.
***Warning: Major Over-Share Ahead!!!***
Example: I'd fantasized about having multiple male partners (mfm and more!) for quite some time and decided to make that a reality. The first time, one of the men was the male half of a couple with whom I had previously played as fmf. You know, the threesome fantasy they say all men have. ;-)
I'd also hooked up with him without his wife; and while we didn't really click that well (he's not as into kissing as I am lol) it was good enough that I invited him to play in my fantasy.
For some reason, he was far less respectful in that encounter. Pushed my boundaries, didn't listen to my preferences, and was very rude/dismissive towards my other friend.
The single guy? Great! Happy to be included and eager to make the experience exactly what I wanted it to be.
Just the perfect play-partner attitude, in my opinion!
But overall, the experience just wasn't what I'd hoped to have.
So I tried it again, and that time only invited single guys to play. Well, it was amazing!!! So much so, that I figured it would be difficult to match that level of sexy enjoyment again. That's the only reason why I haven't repeated it. But it's been several years now and I find I'm feeling that "itch" again.
And not just for that particular activity (mfm) but also to once more explore new sexual horizons; to expand my repertoire, if you will. ;-)
Which is just a classy way of saying that I have the urge to "slut it up" again lol.
It must be Spring!
As promised, here is a copy of the TER post I mentioned earlier, which was orignally posted on January 2, 2016:
Top 10 Reasons Why I Don't Respond
Lately, there have been several threads asking why a provider didn't respond to questions or date requests.
As I cannot speak for others, I will give my own top reasons for not responding. (yes, I must do it Letterman-style lol)
10. You asked what I consider to be questions that indicate you are very particular: do you have stretch marks? what do your tattoos look like? is your hair the length in your recent pics or the earlier ones? what color nail polish will you be wearing? how often do you get manis/pedis?
9. You wrote something that irritated me; often in the form of negging, example: I don't usually go for older women, but you look like you've taken good care of yourself! (Please note that I normally do reply to the previous two, but not when I'm in a bad mood. Then, I just hit "Delete"!)
8. Your name and/or contact info are very similar to someone on my Do Not See list. (Sometimes I will respond to try to verify one way or another, but I'm frequently too spooked to do even that.)
7. Your name and/or contact info ARE on a blacklist for a transgression I consider serious enough not to take the risk.
6. Your communication was just one word: Available? or "Hey"
5. I never received your email or text. (This does happen because I'll get texts/emails TELLING me it's their 2nd attempt when I didn't get the 1st!)
4. I just plain flaked: I read your message and meant to reply but forgot or thought I responded when I actually didn't. Sometimes I accidentally save an email to Drafts when I think I've sent it. Duh. So I'm trying to be more vigilant about that and reduce my amount of "flaking" incidents as a whole.
3. You attempted to negotiate.
2. You referred to sex acts or money.
1. I've been sick or injured and unavailable. I get sick a lot, unfortunately, and often don't respond to emails/texts until I'm able to accept dates again. Just because I'm posting, tweeting, or blogging doesn't mean I'm available. At this very moment, I am sick in bed with Norovirus and really should be responding to people who are looking to book.... but when I don't know when I'll be back, I feel really stupid replying. Something I need to work on, obviously. Maybe I'll just start using Auto-Reply in those situations.
These are my honest reasons and while I realize the "professional" thing to do is to send a polite no-thank-you, I've found that these situations can quickly get ugly, which causes me to hesitate. My actions (or lack thereof) are more often guided by my fear of retaliations than by bitchiness.
Recently, H+T mentioned that she sends a quick note after which she quickly blocks that person. I'm planning to do just that in future...... provided I can figure out how to block emails and texts, that is. LOL.
These are just my reasons, but I'd guess other providers have similar ones.